We have been through a roller coaster of emotions over the past year and a half when we started this journey of hosting / adoption. It has not been easy but every step of the way, we feel that the Lord has grown us and strengthened our faith. Sometimes I don't like how He strengthens my faith. However, every time I come out the other end, I feel blessed that He even wants to strengthen my faith. Of course, I rarely see that as I am going through it.
This was no exception.
If you have been following our journey with Lidiya and her brothers, then you know that we had our adoption agent have the translator in their region ask them if they want to be adopted. We have been waiting on that answer since November 20th. On December 16th, we received word that Lidiya and Vlad had been asked....Vlad said "yes, he wants a family" and Lidiya said that she would have to think about it but would give her answer in a week. We finally received the answer we had been waiting so long for. On February 5th, our adoption agent notified us that the translator asked Lidiya and she said that she did not want to leave the Ukraine.
I prepared my heart for this answer because I knew that Lidiya was having a hard time wanting to leave her family. I had a feeling deep inside, even though I would not have admitted it, that her answer would be no. On February 3, I had a dear friend tell me that she would never adopt children that had any family connection because of the potential repercussions surrounding that. She also just shared from her heart about feeling that maybe we should stop pursuing these children because when children want something, they will most certainly let you know. If Lidiya had to "think about it", that is a red flag. Well....I knew all of this before she even spoke a word but sometimes hearing it from someone else makes you open your eyes. So, that just helped me to come to the conclusion that these were not the children the Lord would have for us. However, I still was not about to give up, the Lord would have to close that door.
And He did.
So, for the last 3 weeks, we have been mourning and praying about what the Lord would have for us. It has taken me 3 weeks to blog because we were just not ready to put into writing what we had just lost. Danny has been greatly affected by this, his heart is broken and he has needed some time to heal.
Well, on February 20th, one of my friend's (who is in Ukraine interviewing kids for hosting) sent me an email and said that if we would consider hosting this summer, she found a great brother and sister for us. She personally interviewed them and she said that we were the first to come to her mind....her husband agreed. After praying about it, we have decided to move forward with hosting them.
Danny is very excited about these two children. Although he is still mourning over Lidiya and her brothers, he is anxiously moving forward with anticipation of having these two in our home for 5 weeks this summer. Although I did not have to mourn quite as much over the loss, I am still not totally excited yet about these kids. I think my heart and my mind go through a different process and it will take some time before I completely warm up to the idea. To be 100% honest, having another teenage girl in our home scares the heebie jeebies out of me!! I was scared to have Lidiya come and it ended up turning out OK but for some reason, I am feeling the same way again about this girl. I don't know why - I guess it goes back to that whole "I don't feel adequate" feeling. I realize that my adequacy will come from the Lord and I will eventually relent but for right now, I am just being stubborn, I suppose. However, I do not feel that our family is complete. I know with all of my being that the Lord has more children for us. I, never in a million years, would have thought that this would include older children and I most certainly never would have thought it would have included a teenage girl!!!!!! However, I know my ways are not His ways....
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8
So, please follow us on this journey as we take steps of obedience in taking care of the orphans. We are not capable of doing this alone. Thank you for being there for us.
This was no exception.
If you have been following our journey with Lidiya and her brothers, then you know that we had our adoption agent have the translator in their region ask them if they want to be adopted. We have been waiting on that answer since November 20th. On December 16th, we received word that Lidiya and Vlad had been asked....Vlad said "yes, he wants a family" and Lidiya said that she would have to think about it but would give her answer in a week. We finally received the answer we had been waiting so long for. On February 5th, our adoption agent notified us that the translator asked Lidiya and she said that she did not want to leave the Ukraine.
I prepared my heart for this answer because I knew that Lidiya was having a hard time wanting to leave her family. I had a feeling deep inside, even though I would not have admitted it, that her answer would be no. On February 3, I had a dear friend tell me that she would never adopt children that had any family connection because of the potential repercussions surrounding that. She also just shared from her heart about feeling that maybe we should stop pursuing these children because when children want something, they will most certainly let you know. If Lidiya had to "think about it", that is a red flag. Well....I knew all of this before she even spoke a word but sometimes hearing it from someone else makes you open your eyes. So, that just helped me to come to the conclusion that these were not the children the Lord would have for us. However, I still was not about to give up, the Lord would have to close that door.
And He did.
So, for the last 3 weeks, we have been mourning and praying about what the Lord would have for us. It has taken me 3 weeks to blog because we were just not ready to put into writing what we had just lost. Danny has been greatly affected by this, his heart is broken and he has needed some time to heal.
Well, on February 20th, one of my friend's (who is in Ukraine interviewing kids for hosting) sent me an email and said that if we would consider hosting this summer, she found a great brother and sister for us. She personally interviewed them and she said that we were the first to come to her mind....her husband agreed. After praying about it, we have decided to move forward with hosting them.
Danny is very excited about these two children. Although he is still mourning over Lidiya and her brothers, he is anxiously moving forward with anticipation of having these two in our home for 5 weeks this summer. Although I did not have to mourn quite as much over the loss, I am still not totally excited yet about these kids. I think my heart and my mind go through a different process and it will take some time before I completely warm up to the idea. To be 100% honest, having another teenage girl in our home scares the heebie jeebies out of me!! I was scared to have Lidiya come and it ended up turning out OK but for some reason, I am feeling the same way again about this girl. I don't know why - I guess it goes back to that whole "I don't feel adequate" feeling. I realize that my adequacy will come from the Lord and I will eventually relent but for right now, I am just being stubborn, I suppose. However, I do not feel that our family is complete. I know with all of my being that the Lord has more children for us. I, never in a million years, would have thought that this would include older children and I most certainly never would have thought it would have included a teenage girl!!!!!! However, I know my ways are not His ways....
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8
So, please follow us on this journey as we take steps of obedience in taking care of the orphans. We are not capable of doing this alone. Thank you for being there for us.
"A" and "L"
